Career Counseling

pre-marital counseling?

admin — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 10:41:23 +0000

has anyone gone through it and do you think it has made your relationship/marriage stronger ~ was it spiritual counseling or traditional counseling…..

Thank you
Wow,

Gary B. that’s great….! I never thought about all that stuff ~ Thank you

Insecurities going to ruin a good relationship?

admin — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 10:45:25 +0000

I’m finally in a relationship with a great boyfriend who gives me plenty loving and compliments. Marriage is in our future. But I can’t seem to accept that I’m good enough for him and constantly think he feels other women are better. I know this is from my ex-husband constantly demeaning me during the marriage. It’s not that I think he’ll leave me for some women on the street. I think it’s a self-image problem (like anorexics who think they look fat) and in turn, I accuse him of checking out other women and blame him for triggering my feelings of inadequacy. I know I need counseling, but just wanted to see what words of wisdom anyone has to offer. Thanks!
Thanks all for your great responses! I will be seeking counseling as I don’t want to lose a great guy. I know it’s going to be an uphill battle, but one I intend to win!

What field of psychology is right for me?

admin — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 10:46:58 +0000

I’m having trouble deciding what field of psychology to go into for grad school. I want to be able to counsel people, give career advice, help with family and relationship troubles, etc. The typical example of a psychologist who has the patient lie on a couch and listens to their problems

What kind of field would be right for this? I’ve heard that clinical psychology and counseling psychology are very similar, but that there are more schools that offer clinical psych grad programs than counseling ones. If I did clinical, would I still be able to do the things I listed above?

I need to get help for an abusive friend, he resists counseling adamantly. How can I persuade him?

admin — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 10:46:55 +0000

As a woman, I find it difficult to understand rage and violence against women. This is someone who has been in my life since I was a small child. I had been abused at one point in my life and I found peace and the confidence to work at helping others. Quite frequently, men who are abusive have been abused themselves, in one way or another, at some vital, developmental stage in their lives. We became involved and lived together. Now that our relationship is over, I want to see him healthier and stronger. I try to talk to him about the things that make him angry and violent and he is very resistant. He creates little scenarios to make himself appear to be the victim and has supporters in his life, encouraging his behavior. I am afraid he’s going to end up in a very bad way. He is obssessive, excessive, and abusive to himself (drugs and alcohol) also. Any suggestions?

Should we attend free couples counseling at our college? Both willing, and in love?

admin — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 10:42:09 +0000

My boyfriend and I have been fighting recently but mostly over stupid stuff especially after the adjustment to college. During a fight he brought up couple’s counseling after I mentioned it months ago while I was in individual counseling. We continued to talk without really addressing but I would like to try. We are both in love and wanting to try and work this out (we have been trying for 2 months), and I really think we need a mediator and someone who can help us better understand each other and work with us so we can communicate better. Is couples counseling a good idea or any personal experience would be helpful, regardless of age, couples or marriage. Thanks!
p.s. what is the enviroment like in couples counesling as far as interrupting each other as that is a huge battle with us…getting the late and “right” word. also sex is ruining our relationship, i want to and he doesnt. christian or not christian counselor (we are) but i’m afraid of judgement.
ps we’ve been dating well over 1.5 years

Low cost Marriage Counseling?

admin — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 10:46:45 +0000

Does anyone know of where to look for low cost marriage counseling in the Washington state area? Has anyone been to one and know what to expect? Is it weird to want to see a counselor after only being married for 6 months? I just think the way we were raised was so completely different, that it is really effecting our relationship.
Any help is appreciated!

Working to mend a relationship after difficult times-long/complicated story to explain, mature advice please.?

admin — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 10:41:05 +0000

Please be considerate in your answer, thanks. I’m 25, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years is 26, and it’s been mostly wonderful, but very hard lately. Most problems in our relationship stem from things in my life, which has been messy and ugly for the majority. I’ve battled depression, alcohol/drugs, family problems, etc. I went from being an independent and successful woman to depressed and broke about 6 months into our relationship. My job of 7 years had gone bad, and he helped me financially and was a great support. A few months ago in a drunken night his friend and I kissed, (that’s all) never happened before (or will again), has was devastated and I felt terrible. A month later we found out I was 15 weeks pregnant, though on birth control. I had an abortion for health reasons of the fetus. He gave little emotional support, and I’m so hurt I don’t know how to forgive him. We need more than counseling to get back our relationship, but I don’t know where to start. My heart hurts.
To clarify, we’ve never had any trust issues, no jealously, no cheating, nothing. Our relationship used to be great, it’s just been put to the test many times. I’ve just started seeing a counselor myself, and we’ll go together as soon as we figure out how to approach couples therapy because we both feel that it’s worth saving. I’m just very hurt by him, I did leave him for a short time but came back, and now I’ve pushed my feelings in so I don’t have to think about how bad I feel. My family and friends have been here for me during this time, but I still don’t know how to get through all this. There’s so much more to say.
Thank you all for your honest and thoughtful responses. We decided to go to my counseling appt. last night together, and will continue to as long as we feel we should. We had a good laugh upon leaving, because it’s funny how differently we deal with stressful situations. He brought up several things that, in my mind, are now irrelevant, such as “well last week you said this” etc., and attempted to explain every issue (large and small) in the one session, when I felt the time would have been better spent making a plan to deal with the larger issues affecting us. He said it felt good to get things out on the table, and I said “Rome wasn’t built in a day”. The past few years we were rarely faced with serious conflicts, making everyday issues simple to resolve. Now we’ve been put through the ringer, and small things can easily set one of us off, because of pent up frustrations. We have always loved each other deeply, and once we get through this rough patch, we can survive anything.

poll: Can you be in a real loving relationship when the trust is gone?

admin — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 10:47:48 +0000

poll to help a friend out. She can no longer trust her fiance and says she still loves him. So I wondered if the trust is gone, can you still have a successful relationship? Especially if your significant other refuses to go to couples counseling about the issue or stop his actions which caused her mistrust.

If you had a short list of five (relationship) things you’d want from your husband what would they be?

admin — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 10:46:30 +0000

We’ve been in family counseling on and off for three years, New counselor wants my list of what I want. It seems answering courtesy, attention, respect and a vote in financial matters doesn’t get my husband’s notice. What would you list?
Edit: We have a pre-school child with a life-threatening condition. His needs for stability have led me to sacrifice my own needs for a while. He is doing better so now I’m starting to think long-term.

can a relationship weather religious differences?

admin — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 10:42:16 +0000

Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 6 years now. I grew up in a pirvate Christian school with a conservative family. As I grew older and started to think for myself I began to notice the hypocrasy of Christianity and the limited viewpoint it had toward god and humanity in general. I try to keep an open mind and learn from others. I want to know other religions and other beliefs. I want to discover who/what god is to me without being limited by John 14:6 or any other scripture written by men. (yes this is my opinion based on what I have read and seen. Lets not make this a religious debate, I can quote the entire Bible verbatum.)
Back to the question…
I met my significant other and we hit it off right away. I was attracted to her open mind and ability to meet people where they were without judging them. Fast forward a few years… we moved across the entire country and began living together. As we hit some difficult times financially we slowly grew apart and she met a new friend (female) that lived upstairs from us. This new friend started bringing her to Church and pressuring her to leave me because we were “living in sin”. She told my girlfriend that she was not being blessed by god because she was not doing the right things in life. I became the enemy eventually, and she left me.
Over the next 5 months we slowly patched up the relationship and started going to counseling. We now live apart and I adjusted my work schedule to attend church with her. Today we are closer than ever but that religious divide is going to eventually tear us apart again. I am able to go to Church because I like to hear opinions on life and spirituality. I enjoy praise and worship and the ability to connect, but I am not a christian. All along I have been very clear with my girlfriend on this.

Often we have heated discussions on our beliefs and she is worried that I would try and mislead her from what she now believes in. I certainly dont want to hold back her “walk with god” and I don’t judge her, but I cant limit myself to christianity again. When we first started dating I saw an openness in her that has been killed by her new friends.

Any suggestions as to what to do?