I need to get help for an abusive friend, he resists counseling adamantly. How can I persuade him?

As a woman, I find it difficult to understand rage and violence against women. This is someone who has been in my life since I was a small child. I had been abused at one point in my life and I found peace and the confidence to work at helping others. Quite frequently, men who are abusive have been abused themselves, in one way or another, at some vital, developmental stage in their lives. We became involved and lived together. Now that our relationship is over, I want to see him healthier and stronger. I try to talk to him about the things that make him angry and violent and he is very resistant. He creates little scenarios to make himself appear to be the victim and has supporters in his life, encouraging his behavior. I am afraid he’s going to end up in a very bad way. He is obssessive, excessive, and abusive to himself (drugs and alcohol) also. Any suggestions?

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2 Responses to “I need to get help for an abusive friend, he resists counseling adamantly. How can I persuade him?”

  1. toastposties says:

    You cannot help someone that does not see a need for or want to change.

    It is heartbreaking, but the reality of life.
    Use the compassion and knowledge you have to reach out and help those that are seeking the moral support and information you have to give.

  2. cbmaclean says:

    He is very lucky that he has a freind like you that really cares. That is the first thing. It might sound corny, but if you and he had a chance to get away, leave the city and go out and explore nature, in the bush, or go camping, and get him away from his environment, maybe it would give him a chance to re-evaluate his own life and his activities…now, his whole life might be in turmoil, but the escape i suggest might give him a new lease on life…you say he resists councelling…then you have to show him alternatives…Good luck!