As a woman, I find it difficult to understand rage and violence against women. This is someone who has been in my life since I was a small child. I had been abused at one point in my life and I found peace and the confidence to work at helping others. Quite frequently, men who are abusive have been abused themselves, in one way or another, at some vital, developmental stage in their lives. We became involved and lived together. Now that our relationship is over, I want to see him healthier and stronger. I try to talk to him about the things that make him angry and violent and he is very resistant. He creates little scenarios to make himself appear to be the victim and has supporters in his life, encouraging his behavior. I am afraid he’s going to end up in a very bad way. He is obssessive, excessive, and abusive to himself (drugs and alcohol) also. Any suggestions?

My boyfriend and I have been fighting recently but mostly over stupid stuff especially after the adjustment to college. During a fight he brought up couple’s counseling after I mentioned it months ago while I was in individual counseling. We continued to talk without really addressing but I would like to try. We are both in love and wanting to try and work this out (we have been trying for 2 months), and I really think we need a mediator and someone who can help us better understand each other and work with us so we can communicate better. Is couples counseling a good idea or any personal experience would be helpful, regardless of age, couples or marriage. Thanks!
p.s. what is the enviroment like in couples counesling as far as interrupting each other as that is a huge battle with us…getting the late and “right” word. also sex is ruining our relationship, i want to and he doesnt. christian or not christian counselor (we are) but i’m afraid of judgement.
ps we’ve been dating well over 1.5 years

Does anyone know of where to look for low cost marriage counseling in the Washington state area? Has anyone been to one and know what to expect? Is it weird to want to see a counselor after only being married for 6 months? I just think the way we were raised was so completely different, that it is really effecting our relationship.
Any help is appreciated!